Nerdy Music Jokes

Carlos · 04-13-2008, 03:26 PM

A C an E-flat and a G walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve minors here!"

So the E-flat left the bar, and the C and the G split a fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but isn't sharp enough. A D comes in and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me, I'll just be a second."

Then an A comes into the bar, but the bartender isn't convinced that this relative of C isn't a minor. He notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims, "Get out, you're the 7th minor I've found here tonight."

The Eb, not easily deflated, comes back the next night in a 3 piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says, "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in. This could be a major development." Which proves to be the case, as the Eb takes off the suit and everything else, and stands there au natural.

Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and sentenced to 10 years of da capo without coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless

The bartender decides, however, that since he's had only tenor so patrons, with the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest, draws the line there, and closes the bar.

Jon · 04-13-2008, 03:32 PM

LOL
Aha, nice nice
The first one made me chuckle.
+Rep.

Carlos · 04-13-2008, 03:33 PM

how did ac/dc get their name?
its the only chords they know.

Another one

Volpe Sinatra · 04-13-2008, 03:36 PM

Haha very nice.

Cloud Strife · 04-13-2008, 03:37 PM

Lol, funny but I would think "corny" would suit this thread better

Carlos · 04-13-2008, 03:49 PM

The first one isn't corny.

Took some time xD

Tobososlow · 04-13-2008, 04:30 PM

Haha nice!

Scrapz616 · 04-13-2008, 04:31 PM

Umm... what?
I don't understand it but only because i dont know anything about music notes
Oh well

Carlos · 04-13-2008, 05:02 PM

You have to know Music to understand the Minors, Fifths, etc etc

Rissa · 04-13-2008, 05:13 PM

ive actually heard most of these.
but then again, im a musician.
people come up with some laaaame stuff.

Carlos · 04-13-2008, 05:53 PM

Of course.

Music jokes are the worst.

mrs. cutiepie · 04-13-2008, 08:24 PM

yay for music jokes! i play the violin , so here are some viola jokes. . :]

What's the only thing separating Violinists from the apes?
The 2nd Violin section.

What are the two most common dynamic markings used by composers for Viola parts?
PP & PDP (Pianissimo & Please Don't Play)

Who makes the best Viola mutes?
Smith & Wesson.

How do you know there's a group of Viola players at your door?
None of them can find the key : None of them knows where to come in.

kind of dirty ...
What's the difference between a Violist and a prostitute?
A prostitute knows more than one position.

mr.handsomeman · 04-17-2008, 10:20 AM

wow! that took some careful reading and following....but I think that I got it! NICE!

Chri(Z)tian · 04-19-2008, 06:11 AM

Lol I only understood the first one...but still funny nonetheless.

04-13-2008, 03:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
Carlos The Once and Future King Support Team Jr. Staff Zune Freak Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 1,089 Reputation: 115 $zB: 420 Donate	Nerdy Music Jokes A C an E-flat and a G walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve minors here!" So the E-flat left the bar, and the C and the G split a fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but isn't sharp enough. A D comes in and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me, I'll just be a second." Then an A comes into the bar, but the bartender isn't convinced that this relative of C isn't a minor. He notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims, "Get out, you're the 7th minor I've found here tonight." The Eb, not easily deflated, comes back the next night in a 3 piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says, "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in. This could be a major development." Which proves to be the case, as the Eb takes off the suit and everything else, and stands there au natural. Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and sentenced to 10 years of da capo without coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless The bartender decides, however, that since he's had only tenor so patrons, with the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest, draws the line there, and closes the bar. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

04-13-2008, 03:33 PM	#3 (permalink)
Carlos The Once and Future King Support Team Jr. Staff Zune Freak Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 1,089 Reputation: 115 $zB: 420 Donate	how did ac/dc get their name? its the only chords they know. Another one __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

04-13-2008, 03:36 PM	#4 (permalink)
Volpe Sinatra [Psychotic Synchypnotic] GFX Crew Moderator Elite Zuner Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Minneapolis, MN / Muskegon, MI Posts: 2,080 Reputation: 284 $zB: 1886 Donate Awards Showcase Total Awards: 2	Haha very nice. __________________ zB's Zewb Mother, GFX Czarina and resident crazy (one of the many) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. [ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. \| To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. \| To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ] Be sure you are familiar with our To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. . The reputation system: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Giving +rep: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Spot rule violations? To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. . Need a sig or av? Request one To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ! New members! Don't forget to To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ! (Psstt.. 5pt +rep to all new members to introduce themselves! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. )

04-13-2008, 03:37 PM	#5 (permalink)
Cloud Strife Lead by example Support Team GFX Crew Section Staff Elite Zuner Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 2,077 Reputation: 263 $zB: 1842 Donate Awards Showcase Total Awards: 1	Lol, funny but I would think "corny" would suit this thread better __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

04-13-2008, 03:49 PM	#6 (permalink)
Carlos The Once and Future King Support Team Jr. Staff Zune Freak Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 1,089 Reputation: 115 $zB: 420 Donate	The first one isn't corny. Took some time xD __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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04-13-2008, 04:30 PM	#7 (permalink)
Tobososlow It's a trap! An army of many GFX Crew Zune Freak Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: In a hypocritical world Posts: 1,231 Reputation: 101 $zB: 752 Donate	Haha nice! __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

04-13-2008, 04:31 PM	#8 (permalink)
Scrapz616 Support Team Super Zuner Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: New York Posts: 1,629 Reputation: 130 $zB: 1285 Donate	Umm... what? I don't understand it but only because i dont know anything about music notes Oh well __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. *Throw Ya L's Up* To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

04-13-2008, 05:02 PM	#9 (permalink)
Carlos The Once and Future King Support Team Jr. Staff Zune Freak Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 1,089 Reputation: 115 $zB: 420 Donate	You have to know Music to understand the Minors, Fifths, etc etc __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

04-13-2008, 05:13 PM	#10 (permalink)
Rissa Original Disarray Jr. Staff Jr. Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Louisiana Posts: 480 Reputation: 39 $zB: 361 Donate	ive actually heard most of these. but then again, im a musician. people come up with some laaaame stuff. __________________ Resonate with dissonance, with no intentions of resolving. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I'm a metal kind of girl. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

04-13-2008, 05:53 PM	#11 (permalink)
Carlos The Once and Future King Support Team Jr. Staff Zune Freak Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 1,089 Reputation: 115 $zB: 420 Donate	Of course. Music jokes are the worst. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

04-13-2008, 08:24 PM	#12 (permalink)
mrs. cutiepie Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: deep in the <3 of texas Posts: 607 Reputation: 40 $zB: 74 Donate	yay for music jokes! i play the violin , so here are some viola jokes. . :] What's the only thing separating Violinists from the apes? The 2nd Violin section. What are the two most common dynamic markings used by composers for Viola parts? PP & PDP (Pianissimo & Please Don't Play) Who makes the best Viola mutes? Smith & Wesson. How do you know there's a group of Viola players at your door? None of them can find the key : None of them knows where to come in. kind of dirty ... What's the difference between a Violist and a prostitute? A prostitute knows more than one position. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. iloveyoumario

04-17-2008, 10:20 AM	#13 (permalink)
mr.handsomeman Expert Zuner Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: San Antonio, TX Posts: 3,491 Reputation: 26 $zB: 248 Donate	wow! that took some careful reading and following....but I think that I got it! NICE! __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Written by the love of my life...thanks Brittany. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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