Ok, so I've had this crush on this girl for about a year now... I'm best friends with her and well frankly I like her a lot but I don't know how to ask her out without being creeperish. I know she likes me but i'm not sure if she likes me more than just a friend.
I have heard a lot of stuff from people on say just man up and grow a pair and ask her out. But I've been weighing the options between gain a girlfriend or lose a best friend.
Any of you guys/gals have any similar experiences?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Holy Hand Grenade
First Put it in Rice to make sure all the water is dried
We don't need no education!
We don't need no thought control,
No dark sarcasm in the classroom!
Teachers leave them kids alone,
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.
Ya. thats what i'm really worried about... but she is also good friends with my other friends. So my group of friends is basically That 70's show but were all in college and go to different places.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Holy Hand Grenade
First Put it in Rice to make sure all the water is dried
Senior Writer Support Team GFX Crew Global Moderator Ultimate Zuner
Join Date: Aug 2007
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Posts: 6,372
I would just ask her out for dinner, and she hopefully take it in a nice "friendly" way, and just push you luck a little throughout the night. If anything goes wrong just apologize you were just having loads of fun (lots of hugs, being really close) Either way she will think its really nice and could be your first date, or just friends out.
Ya... the nice thing is.. is that she's really nice and i'm pretty sure she wouldn't let the friendship go sour just because one of us has feeling for each other. But i've noticed last time i saw her 2 weeks ago that whenever we looked at each other she would smile. This was before the game of quarters that we were next to each other.... (FYI 7 people and 3 shot glasses does not make it a fun game. I got F'ed up pretty fast lol) but anyways i think she likes me but i don't know if its more than just friends
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Holy Hand Grenade
First Put it in Rice to make sure all the water is dried
I'm pretty sure that if she's as nice a person as you say that she is, then she won't let your friendship fall to ruin if you do something reasonable.
If I were in your position (which, ironically, I kind of, sort of, am in), I would tell her that you have a crush on her. I would think that saying it like that shows that you have feelings for her, but that they could either be serious enough for a good relationship or not serious enough to jeopardize your friendship.
Edit: I'm not saying that you should grow a pair or anything, but if you really feel strongly about this, you should absolutely try something. What would be the point of letting it go to waste? There's always that old adage of "It is better to have loved and to have lost than to have never loved at all."
dude this is what you should do: stir up a conversation about anything then slowly find a way (the perfect moment) and playfully say 'we should go out on a date like that sometime" and laugh or smile and see if she says yea we should or ....i dont like you that way silly ..or worse where only just friends. ...
if she saids the last 2 then your out but still friends
general advice: if you cant face things head on try attacking from the side.(if you dont understand i will explain)
I've been trying to get the perfect moment soooooooooooo many times.. but most of the time when were hanging out there really isn't a way to be secluded for more than a couple minutes tops since the group of friends I hang out with are close knitted and usually hang out with each other or no one at all. (kind of sucks)
I've only told one of my friends really on who i really liked and thats my friend that goes to the same school as me.
The hard part is really getting the alone time. I go to one school and she goes to another which is 2 1/2 hours away . But usually on rare occasions when we are on skype we talk to each other anywhere between 45 minutes --- to the longest of 6 hours one day. So i know that we are good friends i just don't really know where i stand.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holy Hand Grenade
First Put it in Rice to make sure all the water is dried
I
The hard part is really getting the alone time. I go to one school and she goes to another which is 2 1/2 hours away .
Ouch. How do you even see her regularly?
If she is a good friend, I don't think she'll hate you for that, but I don't know.
The person who'll know the best on the situation is you. I promise you this, when asking her out(if you do), just think to yourself:It's sometimes better worth the risk. You may not be ready, she may not be ready. You've been pretty much been given all the advice you can use.
Good luck.
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Formally SmileDog.
Note: I prefer to have conversations over Skype, not over PM.
You will be bottom priority if I happen to be talking to a friend/relative.
thx Jorvette!
I've been trying to get the perfect moment soooooooooooo many times.. but most of the time when were hanging out there really isn't a way to be secluded for more than a couple minutes tops since the group of friends I hang out with are close knitted and usually hang out with each other or no one at all. (kind of sucks)
I've only told one of my friends really on who i really liked and thats my friend that goes to the same school as me.
The hard part is really getting the alone time. I go to one school and she goes to another which is 2 1/2 hours away . But usually on rare occasions when we are on skype we talk to each other anywhere between 45 minutes --- to the longest of 6 hours one day. So i know that we are good friends i just don't really know where i stand.
I know girls usually like to talk a lot, but if she talks to you for hours at one time, that is a strong indication that she likes you more than just as a friend. That is a really long time to talk to anyone, even a good friend.
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"Against logic there is no armor like ignorance." - Laurence J. Peter
I know girls usually like to talk a lot, but if she talks to you for hours at one time, that is a strong indication that she likes you more than just as a friend. That is a really long time to talk to anyone, even a good friend.
I also once read in a Psychology book is that if she likes you, she'll tend to mimic you. Stand the way you do, sit, etc.
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Formally SmileDog.
Note: I prefer to have conversations over Skype, not over PM.
You will be bottom priority if I happen to be talking to a friend/relative.
thx Jorvette!
Time to fly into the Danger Zone see if you are only supposed to be flying in the Friend Zone OR move on into the Relationship Zone.
Keep in mind that most longterm relationships were based on or have become based on FRIENDSHIP... along with that little thing called love, but friendship is a form of love.
I know girls usually like to talk a lot, but if she talks to you for hours at one time, that is a strong indication that she likes you more than just as a friend. That is a really long time to talk to anyone, even a good friend.
or she could be using him as an emotional tampon
it really comes down to what their talking about. if she talks to him about other boys she likes or people she has a crush on and etc then its clear.
I've been trying to get the perfect moment soooooooooooo many times.. but most of the time when were hanging out there really isn't a way to be secluded for more than a couple minutes tops since the group of friends I hang out with are close knitted and usually hang out with each other or no one at all. (kind of sucks)
I've only told one of my friends really on who i really liked and thats my friend that goes to the same school as me.
The hard part is really getting the alone time. I go to one school and she goes to another which is 2 1/2 hours away . But usually on rare occasions when we are on skype we talk to each other anywhere between 45 minutes --- to the longest of 6 hours one day. So i know that we are good friends i just don't really know where i stand.
Let me tell you something. You are going to have to be absolutely extremely lucky for the perfect moment to come to you. It is entirely possible that the world will conspire to help you in this, but more often than not, you're going to have to decide when the best time is.
Personally, I don't like the method that I'm about to describe as it seems like you would be way too much of a plotter and evil mastermind manipulating people, but whatever. You could make it really obvious that you like her without saying anything outright. Then, you may get lucky, and she'll ask you out or at least ask you about why you're acting that way. If she tells you off because of how you're acting, you could just say that you were just being friendly and didn't mean anything by it.
There's lots of really good advice here that I would definitely take. I'll throw in my opinion anyway.
Since you live so far away, I don't know if it would be a good idea to take your friendship to the next level. Long distance relationships are really hard, and a lot of times end up failing. In college it's especially harder to be faithful. Granted, I don't know what kind of people either of you are and a long distance relationship could definitely work!!!
Have you asked some of your mutual friends what their thoughts are? Do they think she has that kind of interest in you? Is there other guys in the group who also like her as more than a friend? It would be a horrible thing for your whole group of friends to break up over it.
Maybe start flirting with her a little more, give off the type of energy that would make her think of you as more than just a friend and see how she responds. I just don't think I could ask her to be my girlfriend if I knew there was a chance I would fail. I would have to be 90-100% sure.
But i trust these people and by what i've read above i think they know what they are talking about. I've been on the internet long enough to know when someone is trolling with me.
But with other stuff... i'm kind of a conservative person, i usually don't get all emotional and dramatic about small things, (i'm like the guy that says "nay" in the back of an angry mob) But i'm a nice guy, I don't beleive i have anybody that hates me to the point that they cannot even look at me.
But when we talk its just about life in general.. whats going on. how have you been. etc. etc. just chitter chatter that moves the conversation on but nothing really is forced.
We have common interests and such and she's just all around a nice person. She rarely gets mad at anyone. Even though my friends and i can be out right weird. But she puts up with it along with the other girls in my group. (my group of friends consist of 3 guys. 1 has GF and 3 girls 1 in which has a BF that is pretty close to the group as well) so really nothing out of the ordinary like i stated above its basically that 70's show but college version.
I think i'll prolly ask her around chrismas break and because my best friend is making me lol.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holy Hand Grenade
First Put it in Rice to make sure all the water is dried
Friend Zone :(
. But usually on rare occasions when we are on skype we talk to each other anywhere between 45 minutes --- to the longest of 6 hours one day. So i know that we are good friends i just don't really know where i stand.
