Dad is cheating

[Charge]

My dad has been cheating for over 2 years now (well since i found out) and i have kept it from my mum, and rest of family knowing the consequences. I know that if i was to tell her now she would be mean because of the fact i have kept it within me for so long.
He regularly goes away on "business" trips.... what a load of crap.

Well anyway i have found pictures of her, her name, a Paint picture of a tree with their names scraped into the bark, a house, her family and pictures of me. There is no pictures of her husband (single probably) and because there is pictures of me that she showed her im scared he wants to take me with him....if he ever says anything about it.

He doesnt know i know.


Help
Thanks.

[Justananomaly]

Don't confront him about it, he will punish you so you keep it from your mom so first, dig a trench.. then break it to your mom in the easiest way you can if you're that concerned about it, then jump in the trench and hug the bottem like your life depends on it.

[Charge]

but my brother, and college, and jobs, and their feelings... i dont want to let down my mum and i know my dad, like you said would go skitz. Its something i should do but god do i not want to =[

[Justananomaly]

The important thing here is, EVENTUALLY she will find out, either by you now or later by herself, and if she finds out you have known for a long time she will be mad at you for not being informative, but if you tell her she will be mad at you for a little while for breaking the bad news but eventually will thank you for it. I can understand you not wanting to because you are scared of change, but I guarentee you the guilt and stress will build until you crack like an egg. If you can handle it, though, you dont have to tell her if you dont want.

It's one of those things that looks SERIOUSLY bad at the moment but later on it might not be, so its really up to you.

[hellstuck skeb]

Dont let this overcome you, you should talk to your dad about it............If somethings happens, its all for a reason, this situation is not the most pleasant but you'll probably do him a favour. And in the process, consequences are sure to happen, one way or the other, two things you should keep in mind: Its not a secret for you to keep (it might do more harm to you to keep this to yourself) and never lie to your family, its the only thing you'll have forever.
So, let your father know, that you know and tell him he's got to "fix" this situation.....if you're unable to tell him, write him a letter..

[Justananomaly]

Well, I based my opinion on MY dad before and I shouldnt have, I guess not all dads are abusive coke-head alcoholics like mine is. I guess you should take the above posters advice and talk to him first. There is also that tiny fraction of a percent chance that your mom already knows and is already dealing with it her own way because shes too scared of what might happen if she let him know she already knows about him cheating... so keep that somewhere in your brain's databanks while approaching this too.

[Charge]

im trying to move in with my girlfriend (im a runaway type, from situations that is) and i might tell him/her then. But i want it to end before then so i dont have to say anything. I have told many friend to release whats inside because it really does screw you up watching your dad being so "family orientated" when he knows and i know that its not for real. I just dont want them to split, as i dont like my dad because of this but my mum is way too overprotective and will take control no matter what, messing mine and my brothers lifes up, more than they would be without a dad.

[Justananomaly]

You really have zero power over them splitting if it comes down to it and again shes GOING to find out one way or another something always happens or comes up that will make her ask questions to herself and be more suspicious of his actions.

You have to accept that it's probably going to happen with or without you doing anything about it, which is the hardest part, accepting that is, and just remember to be thankful they raised you properly and take what they have given you and apply it to life, I wish my parents would have, because my childhood was a mess, phew @_@.

[Charge]

thank you for being so supportive. Ive thought about the moment so many times its just hard for me to get to the moment. My dad is bad enough when i dont tell him where im going let alone this.

[Darth Drunk]

Type a letter saying this is from one of your sons, and mail it to your own house. She may believe it or not but that way you can atleast know you told her without anyone getting blamed.

[Charge]

well my brother isnt old enough to type, and doesnt know our address, so that narrows it down a bit =[ thanks for trying though

[Justananomaly]

Take pictures of evidence and mail them to your address with a typed address and the name "Topse Cret" and put your dads name on it and with a typed letter, ask for payment in return you never share the information that you know.

Also you might want to do this with gloves on as to not leave fingerprints.

[Charge]

topse cret ? .... haha figured it out when i read it.....duhr..
Anyway... i could do, but ive hidden the disc with the pics on it so well i dont know where it is. Also most of the evidence are texts.

[Zombii Matt]

any new news?

[Charge]

Im not sure but he seems to be going on a lot of "business trips" now but ill try and look on his phone soon. He has three which is weird too. Thank you for being concerned.

[ChrisV1]

Originally Posted by Charge09

Im not sure but he seems to be going on a lot of "business trips" now but ill try and look on his phone soon. He has three which is weird too. Thank you for being concerned.

If he is still cheating and you are positive of that, in my opinion, you should tell someone.

You shouldn't have to hold the burden of guilt for someone else's mistakes.

Good Luck to whatever happens.

[Charge]

I know i shouldnt but i dont want to hurt anyone. I just want it to go away and waiting for that is killing me

[ChrisV1]

Originally Posted by Charge09

I know i shouldnt but i dont want to hurt anyone. I just want it to go away and waiting for that is killing me

That's a tough situation, and I really feel bad for you.

This may sound like an assumption, but someone else will find out eventually and spill the beans (I mean you found out, right?). If your dad keeps cheating it may be because he feels that he hasn't been caught yet. Maybe if you tell him you know what's up he might stop.

Or in a last resort situation, tell him to stop or your tell your mom.

I hope that helps.

[[chemical.kirby]]

thats really sad to hear for ya :[
i'll admint,i come from a pretty "perfect" family compaired to most american familys
of course,my mom and dad don't talk/act like a couple at all
anyways,i really think you should tell your mom in some way,becuse like ppl said,she WILL find out advenshully
or,just an idea >_>;;,tell your dad,and deponding on the person he is,he'll tell your mom.
of course,i don't know your dad xD
anyways,i'd make sure your mom (or any one eles) finds out reading this thread >_>
make sure your deleting history,cuz you never know

[Charge]

It does thank you. I know what you mean ive thought of everything, kinda blackmailing him but i know that he is the type of person to go "i dont care about any of you" and walk out. And i dont want that. My family is happy. I can remind myself of it but if i forget it doesnt seem like he is.