About to have our first baby...

[BrightEyes Eric]

any advice?

[carnealse]

Yes!!! Congrats!
Do not listen to people who say not to let your kid in the bed. We did, and before he was 16 months he was sleeping the majority of the night, sometimes all the night in his own bed.
Also, you cannot "over-love" your kid. no need to ignore them. They are tiny people who do not know what the heck to make of things in this new scary place. Besides, everything, as you may remember, is a phase with kids.
Breast feeding is great, and sometimes a challenge, but universally known to be the best source of food for the little one. Still its a personal choice, I know.
Sleep when they sleep or you will get a lot less sleep than you used to sleep!
Have as much sex as you can right now...it will be a while before you can have a lot of it again.
Enjoy! The phases start slow, but then all the sudden phases are flying by and you think they are growing too fast. So enjoy every stage they are in, because soon they will be in a new phase.
Take a lot of pictures.
Don't go toy crazy. They really do prefer the box. Avoid annoying repetitive noise toys, you will shoot yourself for it.
If they hate the crib, get a bed and a bed rail. My son went from sleeping with us to sleeping in his bed because the crib was a place he hated.
If you're dad, be dad, change diapers.
Don't name your kid a state, a food, a planet, or anything stupid. Being unique does not always mean it is a good thing.
Don't forget you have a spouse too. The baby will make it seem like they are sucking up the attention. Really, get a friend, have a night out once in a while. Don't worry, the first time you're gone they will be fine. Same with the second time the third time, etc.
And last, do not over react. They fall a lot, bump their heads, hit their shins...remember when you did that? If you take care of their real hurts and down play and do not freak them out when they do bump a head or fall, then they will not freak out either. You'll be able to tell the real cries from the "I startled myself" cries.
Have fun!

Oh yeah, let your kid be themselves. Don't compare or worry about other kids. Every baby grows in their own way and in their own time. Walk late? Who cares, they are content for now and will learn. Talk early? Don't get cocky, they just wanted to talk and they will not want to do something else when other kids do. Its all in their time, and its all good!

[moomilkgal]

Originally Posted by carnealse

Yes!!! Congrats!
Do not listen to people who say not to let your kid in the bed. We did, and before he was 16 months he was sleeping the majority of the night, sometimes all the night in his own bed.
Also, you cannot "over-love" your kid. no need to ignore them. They are tiny people who do not know what the heck to make of things in this new scary place. Besides, everything, as you may remember, is a phase with kids.
Breast feeding is great, and sometimes a challenge, but universally known to be the best source of food for the little one. Still its a personal choice, I know.
Sleep when they sleep or you will get a lot less sleep than you used to sleep!
Have as much sex as you can right now...it will be a while before you can have a lot of it again.
Enjoy! The phases start slow, but then all the sudden phases are flying by and you think they are growing too fast. So enjoy every stage they are in, because soon they will be in a new phase.
Take a lot of pictures.
Don't go toy crazy. They really do prefer the box. Avoid annoying repetitive noise toys, you will shoot yourself for it.
If they hate the crib, get a bed and a bed rail. My son went from sleeping with us to sleeping in his bed because the crib was a place he hated.
If you're dad, be dad, change diapers.
Don't name your kid a state, a food, a planet, or anything stupid. Being unique does not always mean it is a good thing.
Don't forget you have a spouse too. The baby will make it seem like they are sucking up the attention. Really, get a friend, have a night out once in a while. Don't worry, the first time you're gone they will be fine. Same with the second time the third time, etc.
And last, do not over react. They fall a lot, bump their heads, hit their shins...remember when you did that? If you take care of their real hurts and down play and do not freak them out when they do bump a head or fall, then they will not freak out either. You'll be able to tell the real cries from the "I startled myself" cries.
Have fun!

Oh yeah, let your kid be themselves. Don't compare or worry about other kids. Every baby grows in their own way and in their own time. Walk late? Who cares, they are content for now and will learn. Talk early? Don't get cocky, they just wanted to talk and they will not want to do something else when other kids do. Its all in their time, and its all good!

that is all great advice...

My rule... listen to your kids and your instinct and not other people and books...
Babies can't read so they don't know what they "should" do... they only know what they need and love and attention is as much a need as anything else.

I agree 100% about the breastfeeding and letting kids sleep with you... it is the best food and comfort and the best way for all to get more sleep...

A sling or wrap (to carry baby) can be your best friend... babies who are carried cry less...

Just enjoy every moment... it goes by so fast!

[zunemuhnkie]

Originally Posted by moomilkgal

My rule... listen to your kids and your instinct and not other people and books...

I totally agree, once you get the basics (changing diapers ect.) from there do it your own way.

[BobtheWalrus]

Originally Posted by zunemuhnkie

I totally agree, once you get the basics (changing diapers ect.) from there do it your own way.

First off, Congratulations!!!

Second, I have to agree about doing things your own way. Don't let someone else be your kids parents (books, etc.)

[mr.handsomeman]

Congrats man! i can't wait to have my own kids one day. Well...I didn't read any of the posts before me so if any of this is repeated then my bad!

but yeah....let your kid grow up on their own. Let them make mistakes and fall and get scratches...it's the only way that they're going to learn. You can't completely control them....that's bad.

But before anything else.....and everything else....make sure that they know that they're loved. I mean, don't shove in their face everythign that you do for them and make them feel bad...instead....tell them that you love them. And if your kid wants to do something that may seem unordinary....but none the less safe.....let them do it! there's no shame in being yourself...

[mrs. cutiepie]

Originally Posted by mr.handsomeman

Congrats man! i can't wait to have my own kids one day. Well...I didn't read any of the posts before me so if any of this is repeated then my bad!

but yeah....let your kid grow up on their own. Let them make mistakes and fall and get scratches...it's the only way that they're going to learn. You can't completely control them....that's bad.

But before anything else.....and everything else....make sure that they know that they're loved. I mean, don't shove in their face everythign that you do for them and make them feel bad...instead....tell them that you love them. And if your kid wants to do something that may seem unordinary....but none the less safe.....let them do it! there's no shame in being yourself...

good advice.

seriously though,
dont hold back on those hugs and kisses.
dont hold back on those "i love you"s
dont hold back on those smiles
dont hold back saying "i'm so proud of you!"
but dont hold back on discipline either. discipline shows a child that you love them and that you care enough to worry about them. get after them! :]
bring up thier confidence
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. make it a point to do something to simple as to just sit down and talk when them. just hear what they have to say. if you guys are mad at each other. . just sit down and talk about it. i mean, you're still boss. . but at least talk it out. it helps.

[carnealse]

Originally Posted by moomilkgal

that is all great advice...

My rule... listen to your kids and your instinct and not other people and books...
Babies can't read so they don't know what they "should" do... they only know what they need and love and attention is as much a need as anything else.

I agree 100% about the breastfeeding and letting kids sleep with you... it is the best food and comfort and the best way for all to get more sleep...

A sling or wrap (to carry baby) can be your best friend... babies who are carried cry less...

Just enjoy every moment... it goes by so fast!

Yes slings are great! I forgot about that one. Not only does the baby love it, but you free your hands up and the baby is easier to carry around for longer periods of time.
My son is not even two yet, but he would rather walk...rather wander around on his own two feet now. So it does not last forever, haha, but it is well worth it while you can.
My son also does not ask for milk much anymore. Well he calls it "mup" hah, but he weened himself off of it and we didn't not offer him a bottle. He decided he liked solid food and water better. This is amazing because my little man was a high-need baby which makes for a hard time. I thought no rest or independence on his part would ever come.
So it goes to show you that you never know what will happen. Enjoy it man, you will have the best time of your life with your baby!

[pfcreed]

buy diapers now and skip the newborn ones, if u dont mind getting clothes second hand i would start that right now. bring a vhs tape with you to ur ultrasoundhave a place to put all the stuff you will never use, cause your gunna buy stuff you have intentions on using but honestly you probably wont. get a camcorder, and if its possible take the two weeks off of work when the baby is born so u can bond. and if your girl starts to panic then dont follow suit just hold the baby and give her a break. ummmmm remember your a great dad you just have to act like it

[carnealse]

If you really want to save money, get cloth diapers for home and disposable ones for being out or on trips. They smell less than disposals and the kid potty trains earlier typically. I say typically because there is no cookie cutter kid.
Not using formula and using cloth rather than solely disposable at home has saved me $$$!

[mr.handsomeman]

Originally Posted by mrs. cutiepie

good advice.

seriously though,
dont hold back on those hugs and kisses.
dont hold back on those "i love you"s
dont hold back on those smiles
dont hold back saying "i'm so proud of you!"
but dont hold back on discipline either. discipline shows a child that you love them and that you care enough to worry about them. get after them! :]
bring up thier confidence
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. make it a point to do something to simple as to just sit down and talk when them. just hear what they have to say. if you guys are mad at each other. . just sit down and talk about it. i mean, you're still boss. . but at least talk it out. it helps.

the sit downs with them are REALLY improtant. but you're not going to need this advice until a little farther down the road.....for now. start stocking up on those diapers.....and breast feeding is good unless it's not possible.

[Chri(Z)tian]

Well I'm just a kid so...don't got much advice..but I suggest you..

When your kids get older let them have freedom don't let your parental instinct that tells you to not let them go out so you can protect them. If you don't let your children go out with friends or go to the movies/mall/etc...your children will be mad and sad. It's hard to explain but just let them go out more "freedom".

Give them lots of love.

Also keep good communication with them..when they get older they might not tell you things that are happening in their life. So as they years pass by keep a good communication with them. Let them trust you enough to tell you things about their life.
More than half of the teenagers in the US keep things from their parents and don't tell them about what's happening in their life.

But yeah just a few things to keep in my mind when they get older.Also never hit your kid...at times they do stupid things. Things that will make you mad, make you just want to hit them to shut them up. But you need to remember them messing up is just part of growing up. So yeah when something bad happens, don't go all out crazy on them. Screaming, etc...Handle the situation in a more loving non scary way...hard to explain but I hope you get the point.

Hope this helps.

[mr.handsomeman]

Originally Posted by Chri(Z)tian

Also never hit your kid...at times they do stupid things. Things that will make you mad, make you just want to hit them to shut them up. But you need to remember them messing up is just part of growing up.

something that I definitely agree with