relation ship/friend advice

charmed61 · 03-20-2008, 12:31 PM

ok i know i said i wont be back until April 15th but i REALLY need a advice. ok here's the problem:

I began having feelings for this friend. my problem is that she doesn't know that. and i WANT to tell her but i'm afraid if i do then she'll look at me a different way and our friendship would end. yes most people tell me that i should go ahead and tell her. but it isnt that easy. and if i ask someone else to ask her for me well... she's smart so she'll figure out i like her fast if someone did that. what should i do? i want her to know but i also dont want to end our friendship that lasted for 3.5 years

Dark616 · 03-20-2008, 12:50 PM

if it is a 3.5 year friendship it will withstand this. if you DON'T tell her, it will hurt the friendship worse than telling her. This is from personal experience.

Saline · 03-20-2008, 12:54 PM

Don't tell her. Just start getting..."friendlier" gradually, and she'll catch on. Girls are pretty quick with these things.

Tobososlow · 03-20-2008, 01:14 PM

Chances are she already knows and you'll feel dumb if you let her know any other way then just telling her yourself, also don't act like you don't like her around her because you'll look back on it and think about how stupid you were. So yeah, just tell her she probably already knows.

Stuart · 03-20-2008, 01:17 PM

I would tell her as soon as possible to not let it build up. Its better to get it off your chest, also telling her now wont make much of a difference if you told her later so i think you should be prepared for a response you may not like.

charmed61 · 03-20-2008, 01:26 PM

telling her sounds way easier than it is. plus i dont think she knows i like her. but i AM going with the "friendlier" idea right now and well i dont know... she seems more "friendlier" too but i dont know if that's relationship that she's showing, or just plainly friendly "friendlier"

Jon · 03-20-2008, 04:44 PM

Don't ask someone to ask for you. She'll get the indication that you can't do it for yourself.

charmed61 · 03-20-2008, 05:02 PM

then what should i do? dont leave me hanging!

Rissa · 03-20-2008, 05:39 PM

here's my solution: if you DONT tell her, it will eat away at your conscience. and if this person really values your friendship, telling her shouldnt make a difference. yeah it will be hard, and things will change whether you like it or not, but the only way youll gain that closure you want is if you tell her.

good luck.

charmed61 · 03-20-2008, 06:40 PM

but i dont want things between us to change

she's like one of the best friends i've had that DIDN'T move after a year of "best-friend" maybe i should wait...

love sucks...

Tobososlow · 03-20-2008, 08:36 PM

Tell her yourself, tell her what's in your heart.

Trogdor · 03-20-2008, 09:08 PM

tell her that you are naked under your clothes, they go for stuff like that

oh yeah and tell her how you feel at the least akward time

nathanlawliet · 03-20-2008, 09:18 PM

If you have a really good friendship, then you should just ask her. If it's as good as you say it is, then asking shouldn't end a friendship that is 3 1/2 years old.

I'd say ask. It's not hard to do at all. Then again, I have no self esteem so I wouldn't care what happened...

runtohell121 · 03-20-2008, 09:20 PM

i'll just tell her that you like her... just risk it.. either you'll feel good or bad after asking... instead of having it stuck in your brain.. just get it over with already..

Jon · 03-21-2008, 07:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by runtohell121

just get it over with already..

This is why you're never gonna get a girl.

Slimo69 · 03-21-2008, 01:09 PM

ask her to dinner or something and tell her over dinner. don't wait, waiting blows. if u don't tell her u'll regret it. make the best of it.

Chri(Z)tian · 03-22-2008, 12:24 AM

Tell her, why you may ask??... Well from my own personal experience. I was friends with this girl for like 2 years. We were really good friends, always chilln', etc...But for the whole time we stayed at the "friend/semi best friend" status. Now just like you I started having feelings for her. So I made a plan to ask her out and tell her that I got these feelings for her. I was so sure that she'd have the same feelings towards me because everyone told aw you guys should go out, she likes you, blah blah blah etc...I waited 3 weeks from the time I made the choice to ask/tell her. And guess what by the time I grew the balls to do so...I lost my chance.. she had been taken away... She had a boyfriend. And guess what 1 year later she is still going out with the guy!!!

All in all just tell her, if you don't you'll regret never doing so. The thought of what if..you did. Will linger and haunt the inner most thoughts of your mind trust me!! But one thing you need to know , your chance to tell her wont be open for ever. Just tell her, and if things go bad in the end. Deal with it! You have to make sacrifices when it comes to "love". Plus I don't think anything will go wrong anyways if you were friends with her for 3.5 years then your friendship should hold its own if she doesn't have the same feelings as you do for her in the end. But yeah do it!!! Grow Some Balls!!! Man Up!!! Do it while you can before some sweeps her off her feet....just do it trust me. You don't want to be like me, and see her with the man who stepped up to the plate before I did everyday..while knowing that if you just said something earlier she could of been yours.

Oh yah tell me how after 1 year of her going out with her boy friend..her cousins and mom finally get to telln me that she liked me back then. Like how she always talked about me and stuff...See I missed my chance don't miss yours!

Slimo69 · 03-22-2008, 04:20 PM

i agree with ya Chriztian...

3 words

Suck it up.

dont mean to be blunt but its true

Saline · 03-22-2008, 06:49 PM

Come to think of it, don't play it safe and wait. Tell her.
_________
How much more would it suck if...

1. You never tell her how you feel and some other guy tells her he likes her and they start going out

2. You overcome the fear and let her know, a

03-20-2008, 12:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
charmed61 Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: The Gold Rush State! Posts: 588 Reputation: 3 $zB: 283 Donate	relation ship/friend advice ok i know i said i wont be back until April 15th but i REALLY need a advice. ok here's the problem: I began having feelings for this friend. my problem is that she doesn't know that. and i WANT to tell her but i'm afraid if i do then she'll look at me a different way and our friendship would end. yes most people tell me that i should go ahead and tell her. but it isnt that easy. and if i ask someone else to ask her for me well... she's smart so she'll figure out i like her fast if someone did that. what should i do? i want her to know but i also dont want to end our friendship that lasted for 3.5 years

03-20-2008, 12:54 PM	#3 (permalink)
Saline Zune Freak Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: 15 miles south of Nowhere, USA Posts: 1,169 Reputation: 91 $zB: 710 Donate	Don't tell her. Just start getting..."friendlier" gradually, and she'll catch on. Girls are pretty quick with these things. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

03-20-2008, 01:14 PM	#4 (permalink)
Tobososlow Super Tough Killer Robot GFX Crew Zune Freak Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: In a hypocritical world Posts: 1,069 Reputation: 59 $zB: 619 Donate	Chances are she already knows and you'll feel dumb if you let her know any other way then just telling her yourself, also don't act like you don't like her around her because you'll look back on it and think about how stupid you were. So yeah, just tell her she probably already knows. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

03-20-2008, 01:17 PM	#5 (permalink)
Stuart Silence! I keel you! Support Team Graduate Zuner Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 1,383 Reputation: 74 $zB: 351 Donate	I would tell her as soon as possible to not let it build up. Its better to get it off your chest, also telling her now wont make much of a difference if you told her later so i think you should be prepared for a response you may not like. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

03-20-2008, 05:39 PM	#9 (permalink)
Rissa Original Disarray Jr. Staff GFX Crew Jr. Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Louisiana Posts: 436 Reputation: 31 $zB: 320 Donate	here's my solution: if you DONT tell her, it will eat away at your conscience. and if this person really values your friendship, telling her shouldnt make a difference. yeah it will be hard, and things will change whether you like it or not, but the only way youll gain that closure you want is if you tell her. good luck. __________________ Resonate with dissonance, with no intentions of resolving. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I'm a metal kind of girl. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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03-20-2008, 01:26 PM	#6 (permalink)
charmed61 Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: The Gold Rush State! Posts: 588 Reputation: 3 $zB: 283 Donate	telling her sounds way easier than it is. plus i dont think she knows i like her. but i AM going with the "friendlier" idea right now and well i dont know... she seems more "friendlier" too but i dont know if that's relationship that she's showing, or just plainly friendly "friendlier"

03-20-2008, 05:02 PM	#8 (permalink)
charmed61 Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: The Gold Rush State! Posts: 588 Reputation: 3 $zB: 283 Donate	then what should i do? dont leave me hanging!

03-20-2008, 06:40 PM	#10 (permalink)
charmed61 Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: The Gold Rush State! Posts: 588 Reputation: 3 $zB: 283 Donate	but i dont want things between us to change she's like one of the best friends i've had that DIDN'T move after a year of "best-friend" maybe i should wait... love sucks...

03-20-2008, 08:36 PM	#11 (permalink)
Tobososlow Super Tough Killer Robot GFX Crew Zune Freak Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: In a hypocritical world Posts: 1,069 Reputation: 59 $zB: 619 Donate	Tell her yourself, tell her what's in your heart. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

03-20-2008, 09:18 PM	#13 (permalink)
nathanlawliet Expert Zuner Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Florida Posts: 3,499 Reputation: 52 $zB: 336 Donate	If you have a really good friendship, then you should just ask her. If it's as good as you say it is, then asking shouldn't end a friendship that is 3 1/2 years old. I'd say ask. It's not hard to do at all. Then again, I have no self esteem so I wouldn't care what happened... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

03-21-2008, 01:09 PM	#16 (permalink)
Slimo69 Jr. Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: New York Posts: 252 Reputation: 14 $zB: 153 Donate	ask her to dinner or something and tell her over dinner. don't wait, waiting blows. if u don't tell her u'll regret it. make the best of it. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

03-22-2008, 04:20 PM	#18 (permalink)
Slimo69 Jr. Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: New York Posts: 252 Reputation: 14 $zB: 153 Donate	i agree with ya Chriztian... 3 words Suck it up. dont mean to be blunt but its true __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

03-22-2008, 06:49 PM	#19 (permalink)
Saline Zune Freak Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: 15 miles south of Nowhere, USA Posts: 1,169 Reputation: 91 $zB: 710 Donate	Come to think of it, don't play it safe and wait. Tell her. _________ How much more would it suck if... 1. You never tell her how you feel and some other guy tells her he likes her and they start going out 2. You overcome the fear and let her know, a

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